Letting Go of Judgment
This service is led by Rev. Lynn Woodland
Through judgment we define the world as good or bad, right or wrong, and create separateness. It's not to be confused with the faculty of discernment, through which we have clear vision. It's discernment that guides us not to rely upon someone whose behavior is untrustworthy, but it's judgment that declares this same person bad, ourselves superior, and justifies the withholding of compassion, forgiveness and love.
Inherent in judgment is an attachment to being right that isn't present with the neutral clarity of discernment, and there's something compelling about being right that's hard to relinquish. Yet being right (by proving someone else wrong) is, by its very nature, antithetical to well-being and inner peace. As we make someone else wrong, we strengthen our alienation and expend more energy executing our defense than on creating our joy. Judgment effectively separates us from the power of love and, sadly, the choice to cling to the limited satisfaction of being right is one we make when we lack faith in the possibility of true happiness. When we feel separate from love we grab at what seems like the next best thing--being right.
Judgment Limits Vision
Living life without judgment, without the filter of right and wrong, requires a paradigm shift in perspective. When we feel attached to our position of rightness and to another's wrongness, we can be certain there's a bigger picture where joining, commonality and healing can be found. This doesn't mean giving in or letting go of being true to our own values. Shifting to a broader paradigm means expanding to include more than one view, not sacrificing a view. This concept is illustrated by the Complementarity principle of quantum physics that defines a reality where mutually exclusive opposites can coexist. An example of Complementarity is seen in the paradoxical way that, at the quantum level, matter can exhibit the seemingly mutually exclusive properties of particles and energy waves. The logic of our physical senses would tell us that this is impossible. Matter must be one way or the other. Yet this perspective of Complementarity represents a paradigm shift in perception. It's an expansion of vision that includes duality and paradox as part of truth.
Another principle of quantum physics is that of Nonlocality. This principle presents the universe as an unbroken whole where the pieces can't be understood individually or analyzed separately from the entirety. This is yet a further expansion of perception from Complementarity. It suggests that parts of reality appear contradictory because we're focusing on them singly, as separate elements, rather than in the context of the whole of existence. Put in more simplistic terms, remember the story of the six blind men encountering different parts of an elephant and coming up with three radically different and incomplete notions of what an elephant is. Each found a piece of the truth but none had true understanding.
When we're attached to a position and hold it to be "the truth" to the exclusion of other truths, we're just as blind. Letting go of judgment allows us the find the bigger picture that can simultaneously hold different perspectives of truth, even realities that are so different, they seem mutually exclusive. As our perspective continues to expand, ultimately these seeming paradoxes become understandable parts of a cohesive whole, just as radically different pieces combine to make a perfectly coherent elephant.
A first step toward this paradigm shift is being willing to believe, especially in times of self-righteousness, that the other position and your own both have validity, that neither is wrong. The idea that nothing is "wrong" can bring out self-righteous indignation in the best of us. It's so easy to think of wrong things. What about children dying? What about abusive parents? What about murder? What about Hitler?
Shifting has to begin with drawing our attention away from the incomplete truths of our physical senses in order to frame reality in the context of spiritual truths. Remembering that we are more than our physical body and consequently are beyond physical harm puts many "wrong" acts into a new perspective. If tragic occurrences and abusive acts, even on the scale of Hitler, at the deepest level of truth, do no harm, then what do they do? Perhaps at a spiritual level, we agree to play certain roles in relation to one another, to help each other ultimately see through the illusions of fear to the truth of love.
I've heard more than one woman who lost a child through miscarriage or death in infancy share years after the event that, while the experience was heart-breaking at the time, it had a long-term effect of cementing a relationship with the spiritual being of that child in a way that was very powerful and comforting. Perhaps children die because they don't need the lessons of growing into adulthood. What if there is a spiritual agreement between parent and child to spend a short amount of time together in physical bodies and then part? Perhaps the parting helps turn that parent's life in an important new direction that would never have been found otherwise.
Suppose there's a similar spiritual agreement that happens even between victims and abusers in which each agrees to play a role to learn specific lessons, develop strengths, and play out a hurtful scenario until it's no longer needed. Perhaps these experiences ultimately help us transcend the tragedy of the physical world and open to a spiritual reality where there are no victims and abusers. I offer these examples, not as "Truth" but as questions to help us let go of what we're sure we know so we can keep stretching to new and expanded views of reality.
Nonjudgment in Action
Of course, letting go of the frame of right and wrong doesn't mean we let go of our standards of behavior. We don't need to call child abuse "good" because we've stopped focusing on its wrongness, and we'd still be just as adamant about protecting children from such experiences. The difference is that when we replace self-righteous anger with compassion for both the victim and the victimizer we don't just stop a hurtful act; we create miracles. Like the real life story of the rabbi who invited the anti-Semitic Nazi radio broadcaster to his home and through kindness transformed the man from a hatemonger to a peacemaker.
Another example of the power of compassion is this one from Carolyn Miller's book Creating Miracles. This story tells of a former army M.P. named John who stopped a man as he was rampaging through a bar, slashing at people with a metal pipe. Instead of resorting to force, which one might have expected from an army M.P., "John gazed steadily into the madman's eyes and said with great compassion, ÔYou must be in terrible pain to do a thing like this'." In moments the attacker had surrendered his weapon and was weeping in John's arms.
Quite simply, as we stop believing someone is bad and, instead, see them through the eyes of love, we help call forth their Higher Self and higher behavior. As we stop believing someone is damaged, we give energy to the part of them that's intact, and support their healing. As we stop believing ourselves to be victims, we stop attracting abusive treatment.
Seeing this bigger picture of reality means juggling some mind-boggling paradoxes. It requires having compassion for a person's pain, yet still having faith in the part of them that's whole and undamaged. It means seeing the good in someone while saying "no" to their abusive behavior. It involves accepting our power to create our own reality at the same time we surrender to a Higher Power.
Thank you for coming.
Namaste
Rev. Lynn Woodland is a writer, and founder of Miracles of the Spirit. She has spent her entire professional life promoting spiritually empowering alternatives. To learn more about Lynn Woodland’s work, visit www.lynnwoodland.com or www.quantumspiritunlimited.com